I thought of God as a cruel and viscous being that only chose to destroy and punish those that would not obey him. If that were God, then I would never bow to such a cruel being. I put myself above God and I did not know the truth because I was in darkness, though I did not know it yet. As quickly as God came into my knowledge, I pushed him aside and believed instead what the world had to say. I believed that there was no miracle to life, and that all of existence was nothing more than a cosmic accident.
I came to believe that man was nothing more than an evolved beast, yet a beast nonetheless. I considered myself wise in believing these things because in watching the behavior of men it was easy to see them as beast. Therefore, my Lord let me slumber and did not awaken me to the truth until the time was right. Now, because of the mercy and grace of my Lord, I have been awaken and I find that those things that I have done and said were nothing more than the foolish expressions of a man with no knowledge of the things of God.
I live in regret of my foolish ways and I am never able to forget those things, which I had done, or said. However, because God is merciful and loves us, he made a way for us to be with him. It was through a sacrifice, a perfect sacrifice. His only begotten Son was the lamb, which was slain for the sins of the world, and his name is Jesus. Many men have their opinion of Jesus just as I had. For a long time I did not believe he ever existed and that he was nothing more than a fairy tale much like the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus.
Nevertheless, God saw my plight and he had mercy on me and let me know the truth that to men seems like foolishness, but that God uses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise. I considered myself wise in my old ways and beliefs, but now I see the true foolishness of them. Nobody can convince another man of the truth of God, it is in God’s power. Nevertheless, one man plants the seed, another man waters it, and then God gives the increase.
This is what happened to me, in that I heard the Gospel, and then I heard the Gospel explained, and then God touched me through that word and knowledge. Now, I stand before the world proclaiming that which I did not believe. That is the true power of God in that he changes the hearts of men to do his will, and draws them to his Son Jesus.
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